Yes And: How Long Are You Staying?

If we had a dollar for every time someone asked us this question...

How long are you here for? Are you going to stay forever? When are you coming home? What's your plan?

Friends, family, co-workers, strangers... they all want to know. And we tell them all the same thing.. "WE DON'T KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW"

John and I probably talk about it every day.. and there is just not an easy answer.

The visa we are on is good until the end of 2017. However, that can be extended/renewed. We moved to Australia on the basis of an 18 month commitment... but figured we would stay maybe two years. We now think we will probably be here the full length of our visa. But who knows?!

We love Sydney, love our friends, and really love our jobs. This move has been a great thing for our careers. We've both been able to move up quicker than I think we would have in America. We feel settled and have fully adjusted to life in Australia.

However, with our happiness comes lots of guilt. Guilt for choosing to live so far from our families. Guilt for missing out on family events. Guilt for missing out on friends' weddings and births. It's a very weird and hard place to be in-- so incredibly happy and content but knowing that someone, somewhere, isn't 100% happy with your decision to live abroad.

Last weekend, I had lunch with a few other American expat girls and it was really nice to be able to talk openly and honestly about that struggle. We all feel the exact same way-- which is such a relief! We talked about how some families have always lived close/in the same town and that's what is expected for every generation after... but how some families are spread out across the world and living a plane ride away is normal. And it gets even more complicated if your family and your spouse's family have differing views! Sheesh.

I've always been pretty independent and never really thought of myself as a people-pleaser, but lately I've really had to start making myself think "what is best for me? what do I want to do? what would I do if there were no outside people or pressures?"

It's strange to do that because you grow up thinking you have to do what your parents/family want you to do... at least I did.. but I'm realizing that isn't the case. John and I (and Rudy!) are our own family now and we have to make decisions based on what's best for us.

All this being said- we are so lucky to have supportive and encouraging family & friends. They've been great. We love to hear "so glad you are doing this!" and "really proud you are experiencing this!" along with the frequent "we miss you!"

I don't knowwwwwww. It's just all a little complicated.

WHEW! Just some thoughts that have been swimming around my little noggin.

In other news..

We checked out the Pyrmont Wine Festival...